If you’ve been having a difficult time getting through the news of the shooting at Umpqua Community College, the next best thing is to try to remember what happened the night before.
That way, you can talk to your kids about it when they’re in the next room.
Here are a few tips on how to keep your kids safe from this week’s events.
The Basics of Talk-Ins If you’re having trouble talking to your children, here’s what you need to know about talk-ins.
First, talk to them on the phone.
Talk-ins are not a new phenomenon.
They’ve been around for decades, but the recent wave of violence at schools in the U.S. has put talk-in conversations on the national radar.
If you have a phone or video camera nearby, talk with your children.
But don’t make them talk to you about the school.
Instead, try to listen to their story and share the same feelings they’ve been experiencing.
You can talk about it by talking with your friends, family, or coworkers.
The second thing you need is to make sure your children are comfortable talking.
That means talking to them as if you were in the same room.
Talk to them quietly, with a firm voice and a smile.
Be very quiet.
If your kids are feeling sad or anxious, ask them to pause.
This can be difficult for them to do, but it will help calm them down.
If they are anxious, try calming down the anxiety by telling them how much you love them and that you love your family.
You want them to feel comfortable talking about it, not afraid to share what they’re feeling.
Lastly, if your kids aren’t comfortable talking, try speaking quietly to them to help them process their emotions.
For instance, you could say something like, “My family and I are worried.
We don’t know if the shooter is still out there.
It makes me sad.”
Be clear about what you’re talking about, and be kind to your child.
For example, if you want your children to talk, make sure they’re okay with that, too.
If it’s too much for them, ask your kids to just let you talk, and then continue with your story.
If a child is being scared, they may need to pause and say, “It’s okay.
I know you’re worried.
If there’s a parent who can talk with their child, try listening to them instead.
Your child may feel nervous or overwhelmed by the events, but you can offer your empathy and trust them to continue the conversation.
For your kids, it’s important to keep their emotions in check.
You don’t want them feeling like they need to do everything you say.
Instead of saying, “Oh, Dad, I’m so sorry,” say, instead, “Mom, I know this sounds scary.
I love you.”
And remember: Talk-in conversation is a time for them.
Make sure you let them know what they can and can’t say, how they can respond, and what’s going on in their world right now.
If any of this is unclear, you might want to talk to a counselor.
Talking with Your Kids: Talk With Your Child About the Shooting If you are feeling overwhelmed by what’s happened in the past week, or you have concerns about your child’s safety, it might be best to ask your children if they are okay with the conversation going on.
The conversation should be brief and open to discussion.
It’s also best if you let your children know how you are.
Tell them that it’s okay if they don’t share everything, and that they can come back to it later if they need.
For parents who have a hard time talking to their children about their fears, there are some ways you can try to get them talking.
First and foremost, you may want to tell your children that you care about them.
Don’t be judgmental or judgmental about them, but acknowledge that you are a parent and that it would be better for them if they had more time with you.
Talk about how you want them and your feelings to be treated.
Make it clear that you’re thinking about them when you’re trying to talk and that if they want to be a part of the conversation, they can ask you about it.
Tell your children they’re important and important for you.
If the conversation is taking too long, ask that your kids take some time alone.
You may need some help getting them to relax.
If that’s not an option, try talking to someone who knows your child well.
Talk with them about how your child is feeling.
Your daughter may need time alone to process the events of the day, and you may need someone to talk with them if your daughter is upset.
The other way to talk is to share your fears and concerns.
Talk directly with your child about what happened to them or what they think is happening to them